One White iPod
Remember that dude who gradually traded up from a red paper clip to a house? Well, I was thinking about that this morning and got to wondering: What if you took that scheme, but started with something of substantial value, something most people actually want, something like an iPod? Then I did some math:
1000 paper clips cost $5.48 at Staples which means a single red paper clip is worth 0.548 cents.
The average home price in Saskatchewan (where the dude finally traded up for a house) is C$134,000 which converts to about $119,000 in American money or approximately 21,715,328 times the value of the original paperclip.
So, I concluded that if I begin with a lightly-used 20gb iPod Photo, which appears to be worth about $150, I should be able to trade up to something valued at around $3,257,299,200. The only question left was what I wanted that costs around $3 billion.
At first I considered a human being, maybe Steve Buscemi. It seems like I could easily trade up to Steve Buscemi for $3 billion, probably even $2.6 billion. Mostly I’d want him to just hang out with me and buy me cool presents (he’d have something worth around $3 billion, so he could totally afford it). Unfortunately the Emancipation Proclamation went and peed on that parade.
Then I thought I could trade up from an iPod to my very own sovereign nation. Samoa seems affordable, and I could probably get Tonga for an iPod Shuffle. But if I bought the country, I’d have to learn the language, and I barely squeaked by with a C- in high school German, so I ruled that out.
Finally I decided to trade up from an iPod to a company, Dreamworks SKG to be exact. They make movies and TV shows and albums, and I like movies and TV shows and albums, so it’s a match made in heaven. Viacom bought the company for $1.6 billion less than a year ago, so I should have no problem at all trading up to it from an iPod that has $3 billion in trading potential.
So there you have it. Let’s get started. Would you like an iPod? Offer me a trade. When I own Dreamworks SKG, I’ll thank you in the credits of the first movie I greenlight, which will probably be an hilarious romp about a guy who accidentally marries a couch.
Trade offers can be sent to me via email.