Anybody Know Who Won That Game Last Night?

I mean, I watched it, but I spent the whole time distracted the same way I spent every other game of the series: Using “Pujols” in funny sentences. You know, because it sounds like “poo-holes”?

The people of St. Louis sure love their Pujols.

Baseball fans see something special in Pujols.

I bet the Cardinals wish they had ten Pujols.

We’re seeing some really surprising things coming out of Pujols tonight.

I didn’t know Pujols could do that.

I wonder how many people in that stadium are thinking about having sex with Pujols.

If you look below Pujols, you can see Jenidles*.

LaRussa would probably love a few powerful blasts from Pujols tonight.

Last night, we saw several balls come close to grazing Pujols.

*I also like to pretend there’s another player named Burt Jenidles.

Detroit to Host Shitty Movie

Dear Tenant,

DreamWorks Productions will be in Detroit this coming November shooting an action/sci-fi film titled The Island. It stars Ewan McGregor (Star Wars Episodes I, II, III) and Scarlett Johansson (Lost in Translation). The director of the project is Michael Bay (Armageddon and Pearl Harbor).

This is a great opportunity for both the City and the State as it will bring in revenue and business to many local establishments. DreamWorks is working in close conjunction with both the Mayors Office and The State of Michigan Film Commissioner Janet Lockwood.

On Monday November 1, our crew will be at the intersection of Griswold and Larned. We have worked with the City to get a full closure of streets between Jefferson and Congress on Griswold, and between Woodward and Shelby on Larned. This closure will be for the entire day. We apologize for any inconvenience that this may cause, and ask for your cooperation as it is only one day. Detroit will be in the spotlight, and it is my hope that all goes well so we can hope that other film production companies will consider Detroit as a great place to work.

Thank you in advance for your help in the making of our film,

Sincerely,

David Rumble

Assistant Location Manager

The Island

[Scoop via An Anonymous Source]

mp3 of the Day

The Baptist Generals – Going Back Song:

These guys were brought to my attention by Darci from Kittenpants who claims to have gone to college with them. I love everything I’ve heard so far. The singer has a great distinctive voice that I can’t get enough of and that melodies stick in my head like brain-peanut-butter.

I Got My Free iPod!

Thursday when I got home from work, there was a tag on my door from FedEx. They’d tried to deliver something, but no one was home. I went out of town for a long weekend and returned, eager to find out if it was my long awaited free iPod. Lo and behold, I returned from work yesterday to find a small package waiting for me…

I opened the box and discovered another box inside. The markings on this slightly smaller box told me that my hoping had not been in vain…

I opened the other box and there it was, like a shining handheld beacon of glory, proof that there is such a thing as a free iPod…

All of the links to freeipods.com in this post are for my coworker Jeremy’s account, so he too can someday receive a free iPod. Click the link, sign up, complete an offer, and get five friends to do the same thing and you’ll be swimming in free iPod in no time.

As for me, I’m moving on to freeflatscreens.com. Click here to help me get a free flatscreen TV and get started on getting your very own free flatscreen TV. It’s the same deal, only you have to refer eight people. If iPods and TVs aren’t your bag, there’s also freedesktopPCs.com. And if bags are your bag, there’s even freehandbags.com.

Viva la free shit!

My Immaculate Image Of Celebrities Continues to Tarnish

Just when I thought I could trust famous people again, Ashlee Simpson goes and exposes herself as a fraud. The next thing you know, we’ll find out porn-stars fake their orgasms.

If you ask me though, I think this whole lip-syncing debacle is just a ruse by Ashlee to cover up the fact that she gave Chief Justice Rehnquist cancer.