The Truth About Rear Adm. William L. Schachte Jr.

Over the past few days, pundits on the right have been howling about new claims from a fellow named William Schachte that back up the allegations by Swift Boat Veterans for Truth. Bob “The CIA Agent-Outing Bandit” Novak wrote a piece about Schachte in which he said,

“Schachte said he never has been contacted by or talked to anybody in the Bush-Cheney campaign or any Republican organization. He said he has been a political independent who votes for candidates of both parties.”

But, as Talking Points Memo soon pointed out,

“Apparently, he’s the kind of independent who gave George W. Bush a thousand bucks in 2000 and in 2004. He’s also the new law partner of one of the guys running the Republican National Convention.”

But, things got even wackier today when The Washington Post reported that,

“Schachte is…a lobbyist whose client FastShip Inc. recently won a $40 million grant from the federal government.”

Schachte sure has egg on his face now. Oh wait, that’s Karl Rove’s diseased jism.

Word around the campfire is President Bush is going to be on Rush Limbaugh today. Have a listen.

UPDATE:

I just listened to the interview. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it would sound like if two diarrhea-encrusted douchebags gave each other sloppy head, be sure to tune in when Rush replays it sometime in the next hour.

Sunday night I watched the trainwreck that was the 2004 MTV Video Music Awards. Last night I watched the trainwreck that was the opening night of the 2004 Republican National Convention. We really need to raise the standards at our nation’s train conductor schools.

Isn’t it peculiar how similar the VMAs and the GOP Convention were though?

Both centered on feckless rich people spewing bullshit in hopes of attracting a bunch of people they’ve long since been incapable of relating to.

Both featured unconditionally agreeable and inconceivably obnoxious live audiences.

Neither gave proper respect to the talent and statesmanship of Congressman Chingy (R-MO).

Both were plagued by innumerable production gaffes despite huge budgets and months of preparation.

Both inappropriately and incessantly brought God into the proceedings.

Both had Dennis Hastert and Haylie Duff embarrassingly arriving in the same outfit.

Both saw the two or three otherwise respectable people in attendance shamelessly giving in and whoring themselves in desperate attempts to remain relevant.

Neither took advantage of the opportunity to finally confront Chaka Khan’s out-of-control habit of eating her voice-coaches.

Finally, Indisputable Proof of the Existence of God

Do you regret any of the roles you’ve taken in the past?

No! I can’t tell you the number of Christian kids who’ve told me they love Bio-Dome. God made me cool so that the youth culture would look up to me, and now he’s using me to speak to them.

Stephen Baldwin is priceless.

Hey, Sheri Dew, How’d You Get So Dognobblety Cunty?

Interfaith Conference on Defending Marriage

February 28, 2004, concerned leaders and citizens met in Washington, D.C. to discuss the family. One speaker, Sheri Dew, delegate to the U.N. Commission on the Status of Women, quoted Dorothy Thompson, who said in 1941: “Before this epic is over, every living human being will have chosen. Every living human being will have lined up with Hitler or against him. Every living human being either will have opposed this onslaught or supported it, for if he tries to make no choice that in itself will be a choice. If he takes no side, he is on Hitler’s side. If he does not act, that is an act—for Hitler.” Ms. Dew relates this quote to the current issues facing the family.

This crazy lady who thinks supporting gay-marriage is like supporting Hitler is going to be making the Opening Invocation at the Republican National Convention today.

[Scoop via Atrios]