http://twitter.com/mtobey

(9:44:02 AM) trade0058@hotmail.com: hi
(9:45:00 AM) matt: would I get sick if I ate a Nike?
(9:45:31 AM) trade0058@hotmail.com: ?’
(9:46:06 AM) matt: if I ate a Nike brand athletic shoe, would I thrive or become ill?
(9:46:49 AM) matt: more specifically, if I only ever ate Nikes, forsaking all traditional food, how would that turn out?
(9:47:04 AM) trade0058@hotmail.com: if u buy the nike shoes from me , i think that u can make many profit in them ,
(9:47:26 AM) matt: profit in my taste buds and belly?
(9:51:27 AM) matt: let me know as soon as possible. I’m starving!

Beyonce was right, I’m not irreplaceable.

I can’t even phone-in these Nike conversations anymore.

(1:33:14 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: hello
(1:33:22 PM) matt: hi
(1:33:48 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: nice to meet you !
(1:33:55 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: how are you friend?
(1:34:48 PM) matt: I’d be better if I could get my hands on a hundred new pairs of Nike brand athletic shoes
(1:35:24 PM) matt: But where on earth would I find such fortune?
(1:35:35 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: we have
(1:35:50 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: www.ec-yy.com
(1:35:56 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: welcome to visit
(1:36:20 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: we have many kinds of NIKE shoes
(1:36:42 PM) matt: you don’t say
(1:36:48 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: I’m June from www.ec-yy.com
(1:36:53 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: say what?
(1:37:38 PM) matt: Sorry, my heart’s just not in this today.
(1:37:41 PM) matt: Enjoy your shoes.
(1:38:36 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: ok ,another day ,,if you have interest ,tell me please,i’ll be very happy ,friend
(1:39:20 PM) matt: Okay. I’ll see if I can come up with some new nike jokes and get back to you.
(1:40:01 PM) ec_yy04@hotmail.com: ok ,nice talking with you ,i’m going to bed.take care ,friend
(1:40:16 PM) matt: you too!

I can’t be the only one who thinks this looks like “Nerds Rape,” can I?